The mistake most diversity programs make is to think that just by having more female leaders, the problem will be solved. It is not just more female leaders that we are missing. It is more that we need men to lead by being aware of their female sides as well, and we need women who are not afraid to lead with their feminine side, and yet can be firm and decisive. We need leaders who have mastered the maturity continuum of tenderness and firmness.
Humans are biologically hardwired to respond to threats and opportunities, through two channels that trigger emotions, neurons, chemicals, and, ultimately, actions. We call these channels the Survive Channel and the Thrive Channel. As the famous biologist of Hungarian origin, Janos Selye observed we all go through 4 stages as we experience stress. First there is an “alarm reaction,” in which the body prepares itself for “fight or flight.” No organism can sustain this condition of excitement, however, and a second stage of adaptation ensues (provided the organism survives the first stage). In the second stage, a resistance to the stress is built. Finally, if the duration of the stress is sufficiently long, the body eventually enters a stage of exhaustion, a sort of aging “due to wear and tear.”
Amy - my client - is a successful CEO. She is amazingly effective in most areas of her life. She wants to get coaching and advice on how to improve her priority management. She is using multiple tools and apps to keep herself on track and is seeking a time-management expert to help her overcome her laziness. She is increasingly anxious and angry with herself as she is delaying the start of a key project, that she is personally very passionate about yet unable to start. The project has great strategic significance and could lead improved relationships with key customers.
Some people lead a two-mountain shaped life as Peter Brooks describes it in his article on the perils of moral meritocracy. First, they go through the motions of graduating from school, beginning a career, starting a family. They want to become successful in ways society sanctifies it and conditioned them. They want to earn a lot, buy a home, raise a family and be happy by achieving all this. This is the first mountain they are eager to climb. Nothing wrong with that, unless your focus stops there.
Formal performance reviews are inaccurate and have no impact on productivity. Simpler solutions like everyday feedback conversations can provide a better understanding of the value of employees, but there is no silver bullet. We have long been an advocate of ongoing coaching and setting qualitative Objectives combined with shorter term, more precise Key Measures.
The practice of everyday coaching and feedback can really contribute to understanding the value of employees.
Does it make you wonder if you’ve been doing it all wrong? Having a purpose doesn’t make you sound tough enough? The data is in. Purpose pays off. DDI’s 2018 Global Leadership Forecast – one of the several studies that have piled up data on the fact that formulating and acting on a purpose is a winning strategy – highlights that there is a strong and positive financial bottom-line benefit to both defining and acting with a higher sense of purpose.
