What's Your Happiness Mindset?
Conflict is inevitable. Deal with it!
Are you being happy in your life? Are you being happy about your life? Can you truly immerse yourself in the ‘here and now’ or you’d rather make sacrifices to delay happiness for the sake of long-term satisfaction?
The answer to these questions depends on two main factors. Thousands of people, both Westerners and Easterners aged between 18 and 81, have been asked about their preference between experienced and remembered happiness in a series of studies recently published in The Journal of Positive Psychology.
Experienced happiness is when you feel happy on a moment-to-moment basis. Remembered happiness, on the other hand, is being able to look back and remember a time as happy.
If your mind is in prison, your hands may act out…
Shying away from navigating conflicts will only deepen problems in the long-run, so you’d better be able to handle them competently when they arise. Here are a few key tips on how to approach challenging situations in your workplace. A while ago I wrote an article about how avoiding conflicts can build careers. One strong characteristic of those who prefer to avoid conflicts is saying yes to the right people. The people who are good at this tend to be slave runners with their subordinates and very agreeable to their bosses. I remember a story about a leadership development program, where I was told several times by trainees that the top leadership of the company is acting in total opposition to the values, they claim they want. I was hired to train the middle managers to be more ambitious, outspoken and authentic. In one of the groups I got into an argument with the most senior person, who was directly managing most of the people present. He said that the senior leadership in the HQ cares only about their careers and short term goals/financial gain and they are not to be trusted. He said that it was pointless to even try to influence their decisions. But he still wanted the managers who worked for him to be more authentic and assertive with their team members. Was he speaking from experience? Could be. But we are all facing a choice. Are we going to live according to our values and be authentic?
Building dynasties from the inside out - the Saban Way
Be bold! Be creative! Be a visionary who dreams about floating vehicles, space exploration and colonizing other planets. “Be like Elon Musk – but know when to turn it down a notch. So maybe don’t tweet about your stock, no matter how much you feel like bragging.” I keep hearing this from people, and then others say: “What a ridiculous piece of fake news, he is a great guy who makes one little mistake and everyone is all over him.” I don’t want to take sides, but it’s interesting to see how quickly people can fall into the camps of believers and non-believers. Those who own a Tesla, or appreciate Musk’s higher purpose of trying to create a more sustainable planet, are relentless in their appreciation of this great man. Those who are suspicious of his motivations in the first place, or doubt the effectiveness of electric batteries, see their skepticism and suspicion justified in what happened to him. “See, I told you, this guy is an egomaniac and has no integrity.”
Team building is BS – Individual and team Purpose is the key
Saban recognizes that training the “entire” individual produces a cohesive organism propelled toward exceptionalism. In your organization how many ‘trainings’ are sponsored by HR as one off events, or as one - or two- day information download-type programs?
Native Americans can teach us how to create the best teams
I had one my best team buildings with the management team of my company many years ago. We went rafting - it was amazing. Beautiful nature and great company. It was also one of the most ineffective leadership teams I have ever been part of. Nothing changed when we came back.
It has been my tradition for the last 15 years – whenever engaged as a leader in a team dynamic focused on generative change – to call forth and intermittently employ the magical attributes of the “Talking Circle”.
My initial exposure to this ancient tradition was over 20 years ago, during a period under the tutelage of a Native American man and his wife up in the Catskill Mountains in New York.